Steve GannLegacy from Yesteryear
January 3rd 2007 14:40
It's All a Matter of Perspective.
Sent to me by a friend way back in July, 1972. It's worth recycling:
Hmmmmmm ...
Be Glad
Last week a friend went to a seminar. He gave an example of a coping skill for job stress which I would like to share with you. When you have had one of those TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT days, try this. On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by *Q-Tip.
Be very sure that you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Get naked and lie down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer and remove the thermometer and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print the statement that "every rectal thermometer made by Q-Tip is PERSONALLY tested."
Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, "I am so glad that I do not work in quality control at the Q-Tip Company."
My Resolution for 2007
Well folks I am on my way back to University. Sydney this time. I have just sent in my acceptance of their offer for a birth for Master of Film Studies. Little do they know what they are letting themselves in for. But I ramble -- let's see resolution. Resol-ut-shun! Hmm.
I am resolved to -- (scratches head and looks soulfully into the distance.)
I am resolved! -- ( scratches testicles and looks embarrassed at the admission.)
I am ! Cogito ergo sum. And a small sum it is at that. Come on junior think. How are you going to improve your personal universe?
Hums tunelessly for a moment, scratches, gets up, takes drink from fridge, drinks, sits again, then decides:
Hokay two resolutions for the price of one in 2007! And here they are!
1 Do reelly reelly well in my Uni studies and impress the hell out of everyone with my commitment, my erudition and my ability to use words with more than two syll -- syllib -- syllabe -- uhm big words.
2 Find a producer, preferably female, with a body to die for, who becomes infatuated with my body and wit, who agrees to produce my scripts for a nominal fee while plying me with her sexual favours. And no that is not an immature schoolboy fantasy. I didn't say she had to be rich or that her father had to own a brewery. Mind you if he had an interest in the local pub, it would help.
So cheers to all my readers, all two of them. This year, may all your fantasies be filled and all your troubles be insignificant and solvable. Keep the wind at your back, the road before you and face the world with a smile. Why?
Well why the hell not?!
Sent to me by a friend way back in July, 1972. It's worth recycling:
Hmmmmmm ...
Be Glad
Last week a friend went to a seminar. He gave an example of a coping skill for job stress which I would like to share with you. When you have had one of those TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT days, try this. On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by *Q-Tip.
Be very sure that you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Get naked and lie down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer and remove the thermometer and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print the statement that "every rectal thermometer made by Q-Tip is PERSONALLY tested."
Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, "I am so glad that I do not work in quality control at the Q-Tip Company."
My Resolution for 2007
Well folks I am on my way back to University. Sydney this time. I have just sent in my acceptance of their offer for a birth for Master of Film Studies. Little do they know what they are letting themselves in for. But I ramble -- let's see resolution. Resol-ut-shun! Hmm.
I am resolved to -- (scratches head and looks soulfully into the distance.)
I am resolved! -- ( scratches testicles and looks embarrassed at the admission.)
I am ! Cogito ergo sum. And a small sum it is at that. Come on junior think. How are you going to improve your personal universe?
Hums tunelessly for a moment, scratches, gets up, takes drink from fridge, drinks, sits again, then decides:
Hokay two resolutions for the price of one in 2007! And here they are!
1 Do reelly reelly well in my Uni studies and impress the hell out of everyone with my commitment, my erudition and my ability to use words with more than two syll -- syllib -- syllabe -- uhm big words.
2 Find a producer, preferably female, with a body to die for, who becomes infatuated with my body and wit, who agrees to produce my scripts for a nominal fee while plying me with her sexual favours. And no that is not an immature schoolboy fantasy. I didn't say she had to be rich or that her father had to own a brewery. Mind you if he had an interest in the local pub, it would help.
So cheers to all my readers, all two of them. This year, may all your fantasies be filled and all your troubles be insignificant and solvable. Keep the wind at your back, the road before you and face the world with a smile. Why?
Well why the hell not?!
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